Tuesday, February 6, 2007

Late Night Contemplations

I was talking about this with a friend, and she told me to put it in here.

Last night I was lying in bed trying to fall asleep, without much success. It was one of those nights were tons of random thoughts are flying around in your mind and you can't turn them off. Here's my train of thought, which brought about my thoughts about death.

My roommate was watching 'Sex in the City.' The main character, Cari, is a writer for a newspaper. She was writing about something, and the line was "I think the last time anyone enjoyed the 69 position was in 1969."

This line was kinda hanging out in my head so I thought, "Will I be alive in 2069?" I'm bad at math, so yes I had to think about it. And I determined that I would be in my late 70s or early 80s. Then I began to think about what it would be like to be 80 years old, looking back on my life. At this point in my life, I can't even imagine being that old. I'm only 18, and that's not until 70 some years in the future. I have no idea how my life will turn out. Will I have kids? Will I be married? Will I have grandchildren? All these thoughts that no one can really know the answer to at this point in their life.

Then I began to think about life in general. I thought about how people can look at situations after they happen and analyze them. They can replay them over and over in their minds. That's why people think that the human brain is so fascinating. As humans, we have the ability to think about thinking.

I don't really know how to describe this. Each of us have our own worlds. We know the people around us, and we're conscious of some of the things happening around us, in the generalist sense. But I don't think any of us think about how much is really going on at one moment in time. I'm using a college campus as my reference. There are so many people on a college campus, going on with their lives not aware of what else is going on. But there are tons of college campuses, high schools, businesses etc. Its a little overwhelming trying to think about how much is really going on. But it's remarkable that we even have the capability to think about that.

Which brought me to think about death. I'm not a religious person. I don't know what can happen after we die. It scares me a little bit.

We can think back on situations after they happens. But that can't happen after we die. It's not scientifically proven that humans have souls. So does everything just stop? Does everything just go black? But we can't dwell on the darkness because our minds probably stop working once our hearts stop beating. I know this is a tad bit morbid. But its just what I was thinking about. I've believed in reincarnation for a few years now, but still, no one really knows what happens.

Anyway, I've lost my words I had on this subject, so I'll just close it with this:

We shouldn't fear death. Especially since we don't know what happens after we die. That's why we should make the most of our time here. I may be somewhat of a hypocrite for saying that, but I believe it's true.