Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Day 2

I'm on day 2 of feeling more depressed than normal. I understand that even with medication, these times come along anyway, just to be pains in my ass. But its interfering with my ability to apply for jobs, as I keep getting rejection emails (which frankly, I'm sick of), and of completing my homework, which I'm falling behind on this week. I have been spending too much time staring off into space not being able to see any possible future. My thoughts are plagued with darkness, that only help with making me feel worse about myself. I'm also feeling lonely, even though my brother is home all day and my parents came home last night. Didn't see Mike yesterday, but I'll see him today. But will it lift the loneliness? Who knows.

I also still don't know if I should go to Kohl's and ask for my job back. I probably should, since I have no other prospects. But I'm afraid of making decisions because so many of my big decisions have ended up being terrible decisions, most of which I'm still trying to deal with, such as going to school for something enjoyable instead of something useful. And even going to Western in the first place. So many things just adding up to where I am now, which is nowhere. I don't even know if I should be back in school or not. Will it even help me?

Little bro brought home pizza. Going to indulge. With coffee.